By Michael Ryther and William John Wisely, Jr.

With a crunch and a crackle I bit into an apple
And accidentally, swallowed a seed,
And now there is a tree growing inside of me

O there’s a tree growing inside of me
A tree growing inside of me
Oh me oh my oh me oh my
Why’d I go and swallow that seed?

My face was turnin green
I was coughin’ up leaves
So I asked a doctor’s advice
He said he thought I oughter drink lots of water
And plant myself somewhere outside

O there’s a tree growing inside of me
A tree growing inside of me
Oh me oh my oh me oh my
Why’d I go and swallow that seed?

I don’t mean sound melodramatic
Don’t mean to get you down with a tragic
Tale and dark undertones (dark, dark undertones)
But here I stand a living example
Of what can happen now I have ample
Proof you should not try this at home
(please don’t try this at home)

O there’s a tree growing inside of me
A tree growing inside of me
Oh me oh my oh me oh my
Why’d I go and swallow that seed?

With apples out my ears
I fear the end is near
I must bid this world goodbye
One final wish, serve everyone a dish
Of my sweet homemade apple pie (apple pie!)

O there’s a tree growing inside of me
A tree growing inside of me
Oh me oh my oh me oh my
Why’d I go and swallow that seed?
Oh me oh my oh me oh my
Why’d I go and swallow that seed?